Messy Relationships - Nicole Jenkins

What is a ‘messy’ relationship?  The characteristics are many and varied. Just a few examples include: gossiping, controlling, lack of boundaries, lying, and disrespect.  And, most of the time we know the characteristics because we are in or have been in a ‘messy’ relationship; be it friendly, romantic or business.  If we are in relationship with God, he will show us the red flags of ‘messiness’.  The Bible is our instruction manual for life, and it shows us how we are to be in appropriate relationship with one another.  Most of us know some of the almost cliché Bible passages regarding relationships:


*Iron sharpens iron  *Do not be unequally yoked  *It is not good for man to be alone


It is my opinion that some of the most important passages dealing with relationships in the Bible have the same underlying theme of love:


·         We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

·         A new command I give unto you, Love one another. As I have loved you so you must love one another. John 13:34

·         If you love me, keep my commands.  John 14:15

·         Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14


These few key verses will keep ‘messiness’ out of our lives.  If we are doing everything from love; then we will be treating each other with dignity and respect thereby building healthy, enduring relationships.  We have the capacity for love because God loved us first.  If we love God, we will keep his command to love one another and avoid misusing, deceiving and backstabbing others.  Removing a ‘messy’ person from your life may have to happen along your journey to rid your life of ‘messiness’.  It may not be easy, but it is necessary.  If you are truthful with yourself and find that you are the ‘messy’ person in the relationship: Fix it!


Healthy relationships have clearly outlined boundaries, mutual respect, trust and honest communication.  When everyone is doing everything from love ‘messiness’ can be avoided.  So, the answer to ‘messiness’ is simple: LOVE.

Karen HamiltonComment